CHIMI!

Sooo I went out and bought a Degu. An adorable little creature that is similar to the chinchilla but smaller. He is so cute. They are very social and love to play and climb! My Chimi is still very young and it takes a while for them to get used to their owners but we work on getting to know each other every day. He doesn't run away every time I get near him now and once and a while he will come onto my hand completely!

But of course complications arose as soon as I got him. Mom and Dad aren't happy at all.

It's so dumb though because Chimi is easy to take care of, they don't have to put any money towards it, they do have to see him, they don't have to touch him and they claim he smells bad at all but he doesn't. i can hardly tell he is in my room most of the time. Their only reason was that they didn't need a reason, it was their house, their rooms and they just didn't want it here. LAME! and complete bullshit might I add. He's one little creature but noooooo. I already have one pet. Yea whateverr.

I got Chimi because well for one, I love animals, but I also got him so that when I got home and was in a bad mood or had a stressful day, there would be something there to cheer me up and make me happy. He is also a little project I can work on. Degu's can be trainable to respond to voice commands and similar things. it's a great chance to see and practice my ability to train something and to study it's behavior and how he responds and interacts with me and his environment.

OMG! Dad just came home and said hi and then shut my bedroom door...like really? I didn't need my door closed...that's why I had it open....wtf he pisses me off.

Anyway so of course we argued and argued. They won't give in...I won't give in and so they said if you keep him you aren't living here. Sooo in the next week or two...I'm moving out! It's about time and I'm so ready to be out of this house. I'm so sick of them trying to control and micro-manage me all the fricken time. I need to experience life on my own and learn how to live without them breathing down my back 24-7 and telling me everything I'm doing wrong and shit.

One other problem though....I need a car. It is now going to be $3000 to get it fixed and we aren't sure what we are going to do. All I know is that I need a car and I need it soon.

Buttt all is well other than that. I'm super bored right now and doing laundry!!! woot....=/ I had all yesterday and today off so that's been super nice! Well I was going to play with Chimi but he decided to sleep after I was all done cleaning and what not =( sooo I don't know what I'm going to do now. Hmmmmmm we shall see.

=)

When I forget to take my meds....

Shitt happens.

HAHA like funny shit....well I suppose you could consider it funny shit depending on who you are talking too. Me not so much cause I'm usually making a fool out of myself but to others, yes it would be funny shit.

When it gets to be my bed time...usually around 1 or 2...I get really tired and when I get really tired and i'm around friends, I get really slap happy....and shit happens....=)

I def did not break Brad's picture things at all or knock over the dish of herseys kisses....nope that wasn't me.

I also tend to go into huge silent laughing fits and fall down on the ground unable to move until the fit it over. Laughing hard makes me try too....

So yea....lots of shit happens when i get slap happy.

It makes for good times though...at least I would like to think so...=D

Thank you to all my friends who put up with all of my ridiculous slap happy behavior!!! Love you guys =D

okay well Alana has to work in the morning and yes she is referring to herself in the third person right now. So she needs to get some sleep.

Okayyy. Night =) Sweet dreams =)

It just hit me like.....BAM!

All of the sudden I am like super tired! Like not even cool at all.

I'm chillen at Lauren's place right now. She rented Burlesque and so she called me up and asked me if I wanted to watch it with her! Of course I did so yea I went over and we watched it. Such a great movie.

Now I'm just sitting on her couch on her computer, watching Pride and Prejudice, and yup.

I have to work tomorrow.

OMG so my car broke down yesterday on the highway on my way to work and it turns out that I blew my engine cause I waited too long to put oil in it....my bad....ugh! Yea and a new one is gonna cost $1400. I won't have to pay all of it but it looks like I'm going to have to put something towards it and it just major sucks cause I'm just starting to get a lot of money and I'm trying to save it. BLAHHHHHH!!

Okay my stomach isn't happy with me right now so I'm probably going to just lay down for a bit. Short blog. I know...I'm sorry.

Okayyy well I shall talk to everyone later! Night

=)

It's a little bit funny, this feeling inside

YES! I am actually going to start watching South Park now! I totally said I was going to start watching all the episodes like 2 weeks or whatever ago and I still haven't. But...tonight I am actually going to start! Woot! Watching it last night made me want to watch it more. It's like an addiction. I NEED MORE! AHHHH! ......yup.

Anywayyyyy. Summery of my day? Worked at sunset from 10:30 to 3:15, worked at the dungeon from 4 to 9:15. It was a freakin' long day.

WHOA! Dryer just went off. Gotta check my clothes! BRB homedogs =D

I'm back! Not like you felt that I was gone for any period of time since you are just reading this and not actually here with me.....unless you are.....creeper......o.O

So yea tomorrow I get to work from 8am to like 9 or 10 pm! OH it's going to be a great day! Yayy trying to stay positive! =D...ugh!

I have a heart I swear I do but just not baby when it comes to you, I get so hungry when you say you love me, if you know what's good for you. I think you're hott, I think you're cool, you're the kind of guys I'd stalk in school but now that I'm famous, you're up my anus, now I'm gonna eat you up!

Ohhhh Kesha I love you. You are funny. I've had that song stuck in my head alllllll day! Okay not all day but for part of it at least!

Do you ever have the feeling that you did something without knowing you did it?

Is it so selfish to just focus on yourself and what you want? Even if it means disappointment to others?

What should I do?

Should I just be myself and do what makes me happy?
or should I try and be what others what me to be?

What should I do?!

Pshhh I have no fricken idea. Okay yea I do. I just want to be myself and be happy =) is that such a bad thing??

Best you've got to be the best
you've got to change the world
and use this chance to be heard
your time is now

I totally can't believe where I am at right now compared to a year ago. Like a year ago I totally wasn't myself at all and I think I went crazy for a bit there. I'm not crazy anymore though. I have a clear mind and I know what I want which is like one of the most important things ever. I have very little doubt or hesitation anymore.

I was totally afraid. Afraid of what the future would hold and where I would be in it. I was afraid to decide on anything because it could've been the wrong choice. I've learned though, that the only way I'm going to get anywhere in life it by taking a chance and going for it and yea sometimes things don't always work out like we want them to or like we planned but at least now you know that and can then work on things or choose something different. But for sure though if you see what you want then just go for it!

Nope. Not afraid anymore.

STAN!

I hate texting cause I hate the feeling that I'm bothering people and that they really don't want to talk to me. Plus you can't really read too much emotion out of a text so then people take things the wrong way and it totally screws up things and it's not cool. But it's really convenient.......*sigh*

Okay well now that i've spent all my time typing this blog I only have like time for one South Park episode. Way to go me! =P

Good Night All! =)

I can't die.

Ohhh SouthPark, how I am growing to love you more and more which is totally crazy considering the fact that I would absolutely never watch an episode cause I thought it was evil and an awful show. That has totally change now.

I feel bad for Kenny =(

OMG! I got my haircut today. It was amazing and my ends are thanking me so much. I had split ends so bad that my split ends had split ends. It was horrible. But thanks to Linda it's all better now!!! WOOT!

I watched The Lion King with Grant and Brad. It is still just as amazing as ever. I will never get sick of that movie. EVER!!! loveee =)

Today/tonight was very good. Hung out with Aaron, Michelle, Brad, and Grant. It was a grand time! I love friends and the fact that they make me happy! Always a good thing for sure.

Okay I need to go to bed now. I have to be up at 9 to be at work at 10:30.

Oh shit....i think one of my parents is getting up......its def 3:57 right now. WTF!!!!!! WHY????

alright well night! =)

Jersey Shore

Nicole got me sucked into the shore. I'm watching it right now. The newest episode is about to be on. Crazyyyyy.

I'm tiredddd. Too much work.

OMG the zoo opened Tuesday!!! That time flew by!!

Jasper the Bongo played in the snow. It was so adorable!

I'm finally done training at the dungeon! I got my own tables tonight! Well 2 of them but I made $40! It was awesome.

I'm so very tired.

Ummmmm I don't know what else to talk about. Nothing new has really happened. Hmmmm. Okay well I suppose I shall leave it at that for now. Love you guys! Have a good night! =)

Silent applause

Yea this is an unhappy post.

Last night. I had a fun night. Met a couple new people. Just chilled. It was shweet. Didn't get home until 4:30am. Of course my parents happened to be getting up just as I was walking in the door.

Perfect timing.

Dad met me half way on the stairs. He was pissed. He started asking why I was late. I told him, I don't know, cause I am. Cause I just got home. I didn't have really an excuse at all. I was hanging out with people and decided to stay out past curfew. I told him that straight up. He goes on to question my judgement and why I would think that is okay when I know my curfew was at 2 and it is his house and I need to follow the rules while living here.

He told me that all I cared about was freedom and no responsibility. Bullshit.

I told him I was sorry. He told me know that I'm not. He was right. I didn't have anything to say to that.

We stood there in silence.

Finally I asked what he was waiting for me to say. What did he want to hear from me. He was like good point, I don't want an apology and I know if I say don't do it again, you will anyway. So what are we going to do about this. I asked instead what he was going to do about it because what I would do and what he would do would be totally different. He told me I was right but nothing else was said.

I said goodnight and went to bed.

This is what pisses me off is cause I work my ass off every single day to prove to them I can be responsible. I do everything they ask me to and I don't complain. I get to work on time. I make all my own appointments and don't miss any of them. I clean up after myself. Do my own laundry. Pay for my own gas. Buy anything I need with my own money. Even sometimes by my own groceries. I've always been home on time for curfew.

I come home late one time. One time in a long time. And I get bitched at and told I'm not responsible and I just care about abusing my freedom. Seriously?

A week ago we had a conversation about responsibility and they were lecturing me on all the things I would eventually be responsible in life some day. I was like that's great, what does that have to do with right now? They didn't have an answer except they wanted me to understand that that's what I'm gonna have to do in life some day. I told them yea I know that...but I don't have to be right now, you guys offer to cover those things now and if you asked me to cover them I would find a way but you don't ask me to cause you know I can't afford to. But out of all the things you do ask me to cover, what am I not being responsible for? They couldn't answer that. Why? Cause there wasn't anything I wasn't being responsible for.

Then they say something about making sure I know how to keep a budget. Okay yea i'm pretty sure I know how to handle my money. I've always made sure I have enough to cover what I need and I've never over-drawn an account so I'm pretty sure I'm good there. And they were just like oh okay good.

Like seriously?

It's never, We're so proud of the great job you're doing Alana! We see you're working so hard and you've done a great job taking care of everything you need to. Way to go, keep up the good work.

No it's nothing until I mess something up and then it's all me being irresponsible and shit. Omg sorry for not being perfect and making mistakes and breaking the rules once in a great while. My bad.

I've put in 48 hours of work just this week. It's been like that for three weeks now and is gonna be like that for at least another two weeks. I'm going to have a streak of working 44+ days straight. Don't tell me I'm not doing shit. And I'm sorry for wanting to hang out with my friends when I get the time.

GAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! This is all such bullshit.

Ohh and to top it all off, Nicole is pissed at me cause I decided I didn't want to lie to matt about going over to her friends house last night. Cause last night she told him we were just hanging at her house and I was like whatever yea I don't want you guys fighting so thats fine if you tell him that. And all today and I played it off like me and her just chilled. Well then he called me tonight and we were talking about things and I felt that I needed to tell him what really happened last night cause I didn't like lying to him. So I did. And he was upset. Which I understand. But then he had to call Nicole right away. So he did and he bitched her out and then she texted me blaming it all on me. Okay I didn't know he was going to sit there and bitch at her. I honestly didn't.

But yea now she's pissed at me. Which I understand cause I told her I would lie and then I broke her trust. But matthew is also one of my best friends and I hate lying to him. I've known him a lot longer and we are a lot closer than me and nicole are.

I just hate being close to both of them cause I never know what to tell them and what not to tell them. I don't want to lie to them about things but I also don't want them to be pissed at me for telling things. What the hell am I suppose to do then?? I just don't know.

I try so hard just to stay out of it but I always end up getting sucked in. I just wanted to be honest. I wanted to do the right thing. What I felt was right at least. But I never end up doing it in the end. I always mess up some how no matter how hard I try.

I do so much shit for these people too. Like seriously you don't even know and again I make a mistake and just get bitched at instead.


Can you telling I'm pmsing? I'm an emotional wreck right now. Usually happens around this time. Like anyone cares.

I like the happy me. I want to stay the happy me. I don't need drama.

Thanks guys. I doubt anyone will read all of this but I just needed to really vent. It's mainly my parents that are the issues right now anyway.

Okay I need to sleep. Good Night everyone


Ohh and on a good note....Brad's birthday party is later today!!!!!! I'm so looking forward to that cause I know for sure that it is going to take my mind off everything and I'm going to have a great time with all my awesome friends that always make me laugh and smile. So HELLZ TO THE FUCK YEA!!!!!!! can't wait =D