I love you

I had a pretty good day over all...kinda. Church was good...although i was falling asleep....haha. Then we went out for breakfast after church and it was sooooo yummy!!! Yay good food. Then after that we went to visit my Grandma Northouse...that was not good at.

Two weeks ago my Grandma looked bad but not that bad. She could hear, talk, and was able to move. Today she looked awful. She can't get out of bed, she can't talk and she barely noticed we were there. We tried talking to her but all she did was stare at no where. Eventually my Dad was like "Mom? Mom can you hear me? I love you" I completely lost it right there and started bawling my eyes out. My sister and my mom followed with I love you's too. Then my Grandma looks over at us and manages to barely mouth I love you too back to us. It is so hard watching someone die. I can't even begin to explain it. It's even harder when you are really close to that person. A few mins later my Dad leaned over to me and asked me if I wanted to say goodbye to her. We were going to leave but I knew it wasn't just a normal goodbye, it was a goodbye forever. It took me a couple mins to compose myself. I leaned over, kissed her on the forehead and whispered "Goodbye Grandma, I love you" Hardest words to ever speak to someone. My mom went after me and I barely heard her say "Just let go and leave, you don't have to hang on for us, we love you a lot but you shouldn't fight any longer." It's so true. I didn't want to hear those words though. Leaving that place was so hard. I know for sure that that is the last time I will ever see my Grandma alive. The blood is already starting to stop fully circulating through her body. Mom says that she only has days left. It's just one more bad thing to add to my list.

After the visit we went home and i say around and decided to go to the mall to visit Brad! So I did and we talked for like an hour or so. It was really dead there so it was all good. After that I went home and played catch with my Dad and like three of the neighbor kids ran over to see what we were doing and then of course they wanted to join it. They were so cutee. I'm guessing like ages 5,6 and 7 or 8. Then I realized I had to be a Brad's like soon so I flew out of there to his house and went with him and his family downtown for their family pictures. It was pretty fun. It w as a beautiful day too. After that we went home and ate food and scott came over and then we headed to the theater to watch Jackass 3D with Grant, Aaron, and Michelle. The movie was totally awesome. I laughed like the whole time. There were for sure some really gross parts though that I couldn't even look.

After the movie I brought Scott and Brad back to Brad's house and then went over to Matt Nelson's house to hang out with him for a while. Caleb was over when I got there and we all just chilled and watched youtube videos. Then Josh showed up and Caleb left and we spent the next hour doing nothing...just talked. It was good to see them both.

Now it is bed time cause I have to work bright and early at 6am. Not too excited about that...that's for sure. I have the whole rest of the day off after that though so it's not so bad.

Well that is all for tonight. Night!

Lana