Rest in peace Grandma Northouse.

This morning was rough. I had my alarm set for 5:00 am and of course was hitting the snooze button. As I was laying there in between hitting the snooze, I heard the phone ring. My heart sank. I knew that it had to be "the call" but I was crossing my fingers that it wasn't, though who would really be calling at 5:15 in the morning. I heard my Dad getting up and find my mom. I could hear them talking. A few mins later my Dad opened the door. I looked at him, he looked at me and said "Grandma passed away this morning around 4:00am, that was Aunt Terry on the phone. They said she went peacefully in her sleep." Of course I instantly started crying. Dad came over and hugged me. He told me that I should try and go into work and see if I can make it through the day though he was sure they would be fine with it if I had to leave.

I got up, went downstairs to eat breakfast. Mom came up and gave me a hug too and I ate in silence. After I went upstairs to get ready. I put my hair up and put on my work clothes. I lost it though. I couldn't stop crying enough to put on my make-up and finally I went downstairs and walked straight up to my mom and hugged her and she said "You can't go into work today...not like this." All I could do was shake my head. She offered to call but I said I could do it. I went upstairs and dialed sunsets number and asked for someone that I was working with. All I said was "My grandma passed away a couple of hours ago" and she said "I'm so sorry, don't worry about coming in today, we will cover it" Thank goodness they are understanding. I hung up and went back to sleep.

I woke up finally at 11:45ish. Still feeling like I could sleep more but decided that I should get up. Mom and Dad were gone. Katie said they went to meet with my Dad's sisters and talk about funeral things. I didn't feel like doing much so I sat around in the basement till like 3 and finally got up to take a shower. It started to become a steady on and off with the tears. Random things would pop into my mind causing the flow to start all over again. It is so hard to get over the shock that she isn't going to be around anymore. I have never had someone I was this close to pass away before. it is so much harder than I thought it would be.

I'm just so thankful that I got to see her yesterday even though that was tough. She was 85 and lived a full happy life surrounded by family and friends who loved her dearly and I know she is up there in heaven with my Grandpa now, finally at peace, no more pain and suffering and she is having a wonderful time. I'm going to miss her so much though but someday I will see her again.

I'm going to try and stick out the day tomorrow. I work at the zoo from 8-4 and then have class from 4:30-6:45. It's my longest day of the week and it usually drains me but hopefully it won't be too bad tomorrow and it will go quick. Visitation isn't until Wednesday and the funeral is Thursday. It's going to be a rough week for sure but thank goodness for all the family and friends that care and help me make it through.

Well I should really be sleeping right now so I"m going to go try that. Hope everyone has a good night and a great day tomorrow.

Rest in peace Grandma Northouse. I love you so much and will miss you dearly.

Night

Lana