I'm so tiredd.

So today went well. Not much happened now that I think about it but it felt like it did. Grant kept me up wayyyy too late last night =P so now I am even more tired than I was. Sleeping on the floor of a dorm room without being prepared doesn't help very much either butttt it was better than sleeping behind the wheel of my far as I was driving home!

Let's see, run down of the day. I woke up (several times) this morning at I think is was like 10:30 before I actually "got up" and I sat there waiting for slow boys to be done in the bathroom so I could use it. Then Grant and I headed down for "breakfast" at like 11:30ish and we both got cereal. I was super excited cause they had yummy stuff that I never get at home because my parents like to buy "healthy" cereal for me. I got reeses puffs and it was sooooooooo delicious! Then Grant and Jeff had to leave for class so I went home. I was home for like 20 mins, just enough time to brush my teeth and wash my face to feel somewhat more clean before I had to leave for the zoo. The zoo was a pretty normal closing day. Nothing too exciting. Then I came home, took a much needed shower, got some food, did some chores, did some homework, and now I'm sitting here, blogging away! I'm thinking the rest of my homework is not going to happen tonight either. I'm way too tired to even comprehend what the books are saying. Hopefully it will be easier after a much need good nights worth of sleep.

So let's get these tips out of the way.

Healthy Tips and Goals:
Continuing from two blogs ago. I will give you the next two ways.

3. Cross train at work. It says to learn someone else's job or switch jobs at your job. I'm not really going to elaborate on this one just because a lot of us don't have jobs and I've already been doing that at my work by training more things. It just helps you learn new skill and better the brain function.

4. Improve your skill at things you already do. Some repetitive mental stimulation is ok as long as you look to expand your skills and knowledge base. Take the things that you like doing let's saying reading or music and push yourself to read different authors and different style books than your used to, or instead of playing the guitar, drums, piano ect. like you're used to, push yourself to learn harder music or different styles of playing. Pushing your brain to new heights keeps it healthy.
I think what I am going to do with this one is practice the piano a lot more. I'll go to the music store and get some sheet music that won't be too hard for me but will be a little tougher than what I am used to. I love playing the piano and along with pushing my brain, I'll also become better at playing. So I really like this one and yea. I guess I really don't have much to say about it.

SInce I was gone all day yesterday I didn't really have a chance to read my 15 mins at all so I am going to do that tonight.

Goal for the day:
If I have time I'm going to head to the music store and find some awesome stuff to play. If I don't then I was to at least look up some tutorials and see if I can learn a new song!

I missed yesterday so today I did 10 things I'm grateful for:
Being able to go to college
Having the passion for music
Being able to buy things I want but don't need
Road trips to see people who are far away
Food
My Birthmother
My chance to volunteer at the zoo
The ability to read and write
Having a phone
My amazing friends

Healthy diet and excersie tip of the day:
Calorie restriction
A calorie-restricted diet is helpful for the brain and life longevity. Eating less helps you live longer. It control weight, decreases risk for heart disease, cancer, and a strong from obesity, as well as it triggers certain mechanisms in the body to increase the production of nerve growth factors which are helpful to the brain.
Basically this is saying don't eat all those junk foods that are loaded with calories. Eat the healthier ones with less calories. Keep your weight in control and don't let it get out of hand. It's all about the choices. What you eat and how much you eat of certain foods will effect you later in life too. Don't forget that.

Fact of the day:
I was googling dumb and stupid laws in michigan and I came across this. This one is for Grant and Ryan =)
In Kalamazoo, it is against the law to serenade your girlfriend.
Sorry if you were making plans to serenade someone guys, it looks like your out of luck there. That made me laugh and they are right, it is dumb and stupid.

So there, those are my tips and facts today. I didn't really elaborate on any of them like I have before. I guess they were just ones that you couldn't say that much about. Plus i'm so tired that my brain is getting to the point of wanting to shut down so i'm having issues thinking and I have a nice head ache on top of that!

I'm really hungry right now. I suppose that's a good thing. Although earlier, like a 6:00 I was really hungry too. So I made a grilled cheese and as I was making it I ate some grapes but not like a lot. Then my grilled cheese was ready so I cut it in half and started eating it and after like 3 bites I was fully and felt like I was force feeding myself. I didn't even eat the other half. I had to save it to eat later. It's so weirddd. That's been happening to me the last couple days. I'm like hungry but nothing sounds good and when I start eating I'm full. It makes no sense at all. Speaking of me getting food...I'm going to go get an apple, I will be right back......okay I'm back and I'm really sad. I cut up my apple and I took a bite and pain! I forgot my teeth were still sore from the ortho the other day. Despite the pain with every bite. I will eat this apple and I will enjoy cause I really do love apples. Ohh and I promised Bryan today that I was going to eat at least something for every meal so I don't end up starving myself or something. That would be sorta bad....

Hmmm I'm trying to gather my thoughts and feelings right now. I've been pretty happy the whole day today which is always a good thing. I've also been thinking a lot about my future and where it's going to go now. Is it going to stay this good and keep getting better? Or maybe it will all relapse again. I'm determined not to let that happen though. I'm filled with all this hope right now which I've never had before and I think because I have this hope now, I'm more motivated to do things right this time around. I have a new level of confidence which is very encouraging but scary at the same time because what if nothing ends up working and everything falls into chaos again. I'm very scared about that. It's just been lingering at the back of my mind. It just like I don't want to get my hopes too up right now cause if I do I might be really disappointed.

Me and my parents were looking my at my childhood while we were at D.C. and they told me that when I was little, if I was told that we were going to the zoo, then the store, and then to get ice cream but for some reason we had to make an extra stop or the order was switch around, I would be so upset cause it was suppose to happen the way I was told, the way it was in my head. I think I still struggle with that now. I will have my days and even my life planned out and I will get it in my mind that this is how it is suppose to go and if it doesn't go that way, I get upset, though I don't show it visually anymore. I just go into this mood I will push myself down and be angry at myself for not making the plan happen. Like last year, I had my college years all planned out and I was going to get good grades and meet lots of people and work hard and when things weren't going according to that plan, I would beat myself up about it.

Those were the times were I lost my hope and confidence about life and they happened so often it's only natural for me to fear it happening again. I don't want to mess up again, I don't want to hurt myself and more people like I have. But with all this hope and confidence now, should I even worry about that stuff? I have no idea. I think that now I am more determined than ever that I'm going to make things right and things work that I need not fear anything. I mean this is the best that I've felt in a long time. I've gotten more answers than I thought I ever would get and school is going really good so far even with me missing a week. My relationships with my friends are all going really well right now, no drama or anything and I feel like all of this is going to stay this way for a long time. Of course, it is just a feeling but I'm going to say that if I have this much confidence and motivation things will only get better.

And yet, even after all those almost depressing thoughts, I'm still as happy as can be and as cheerful about the future as ever. NOTHING WILL BRING ME DOWN!

Goodness I need to stop rambling so much. One thought like turns into a million thoughts and I just keep going and going and going and going. Random thought...."My spoon is too big"......HAHAHA that was like the dumbest thing i've ever seen but yet it was hilarious! Oh oh and funny story, I walk into Grant and Ryan's room and we say hi and starting chatting about stuff and Grant goes "Omg, go flush the toilet" and I thinking what the heck and said no thanks and he was like "No, seriously it makes the loudest whooshing sound ever!" i don't remember what i said but he then said something about "fine if you won't do it then I'll do it" so he walks into the bathroom and then WHOOSH! there goes the toilet and I just had to laugh, one because Grant was so excited for me to hear the whoosh and two, because it was a pretty fricken loud whoosh! He wasn't lying!

Oh and another funny story! My sister's friend Leah is a photographer and lately she has been really busy editing and whatever so she doesn't get to bed till the wee hours of the morning. Well she's a little ADD, like me, and when it's that late and you're that tired, you start thinking weird things. So Leah, who is in love with her dog, started thinking about the Rapture and she was freaking out that if the rapture came, what would happen to her dog, who would look out for it. So she goes on google and actually found a atheist who could care for her dog if the rapture ever came in her lifetime. So that made me laugh a lot. Like seriously? How do you find things like that? Only leah....

Ummmm yeaaa I probably should be done now....I feel like I had more to say but I can't remember now. Gah I hate it when that happens, which is way too often. Omg so sadface. One of the baby flamingos has a spinal birth defect and it can't lift its head up so it just hangs upside down. The poor thing! I went to see it and it was just running into the walls of the tub and crying the whole time. I felt so bad for it! I guess they are going to try and splint the neck so see if it will health properly which I hope it does. It was so sad. Sorry I just had to share that.

I'm trying to think of funny things to say right now so I don't sound lame and boring like the rest of the post is but I'm having lots of trouble. I guess I'm just not one of those people that say funny things. Now that I think about it, most of my funny moments are when I have blonde moments lol. That's really kinda sad. OMG I can't be turning blonde....that seriously would be the end of the world for me. None of my clothes would match my hair anymore! Not that I pick out clothes to match my hair...that would be dumb...sooo...yea. ANYWAY moving on. Haha I feel like I'm having one of those fun conversations that you don't know what to say so you just say random things and then after you say them and the other person comments on them it just goes silent and you have to sit there for another 5 mins just to think of a conversation. I love those convos. They make me laugh. Giggle giggle.

*sigh* now I'm just reminiscing about the funny times I've had with my friends. Good times...goooooooood timessss. Aww now I miss them! Super sadface! I for sure can't wait to see them again! Partayyy on fridayyy! Maybe...omg...both my parents might be done for like two days this weekend...and katie is leaving tomorrow for the whole weekend....hmmmm. Rockband party at my house for sure! With Mac and cheese!! Omg yes that sounds amazing!

Okay, I for real need to end this thing although I might add to it later. We shall see. I just don't think it's long enough....=P Well off to watch the episode of GH I just missed! I know..don't judge =) Alrighty well good night to you all! Hope you have a great one. I hear my bed calling my name and it sounds sooooooo amazing. I promised it I would be there soon and I can't break my promises! =D Night!

Lots of love!

Lana =)